Oh Captain, My Captain!

Recently I was asked to schedule a conference with my son’s soccer coach.  Much like the conferences I had just attended at his school, it was to include the coach, my son, and his parents.  We would review his progress, listen to any comments or feedback from my son, and set some goals for his future growth.

A little background:  It’s a travel team, which plays year round.  When he’s not playing the game himself, my son follows a team in the British Premier League with fervor.  Their crest decorates his room, adorns his clothing and school backpack, the their app is forever alerting him to their progress.  He even styles his hair in the fashion of the players he admires!  To be sure, he’s “all in”. 

In the course of the discussion, the coach reveals that he intends to name my son as a captain of his team for the coming season.  My son, while quiet and reserved, is clearly stoked!  He dutifully sits through the rest of the conference, listens to feedback, and questions from his parents. 

Near the end of our time, to my son I asked, “Do you know what it means to be the captain?”  He was sure he did.  Being the captain, he said, meant running warm-ups for his teammates, helping the team stretch out before a game, and interacting with the referee for coin toss and such during games.

“Not at all,” says his coach. “It’s just the opposite of all those things you said.  Being captain means continuing to do what you have been doing so far.  The things that earned you a chance to be captain in the first place.”  He went on to say that being captain meant working hard, all practice, every practice.  It meant having high standards, and never giving up.  “All those things you said, about running stretches and referees… that’s just what you get to do because of the rest of it.  It’s not about that though.  It’s about effort, consistency, and dedication.”

As a dad, I’ve said these words to him countless times.  But I know well enough that it comes through a different channel when someone else says it.  How thankful I am that there are other adults in his world to reinforce the lessons that mean so much to me. 

Real effort impresses the heck out of me… much more so than talent.  Dedication matters.  A lot.  Doing the best that you know how to do every chance you get, and being humble and open to learning how to do it better from those around you that can. 

These lessons, this potential for impact…it’s why I teach, and what I hope comes across to every student I encounter.  In the earlier years, it’s probably more important than the content of any given course.

Great job, son.  I’m really proud of you.